UK to teach Flat Earth scientology

The United Kingdom has seen a rise in the number of Muslims entering the country. Schools probably being most affected, our reporter visited a number of schools in London and asked if any recent changes have resulted from the migration.

"As a matter of fact, yes," said the Director of Science at University of London. "They are bringing their old 7th century ways into our culture. One in twenty students actually think the Earth is flat. One in ten student also denounce the wholly accepted Theory of Evolution as the cause of Man, opting for the more ludicrous Creationism, as if they were created from nothing."

This may help explain their willingness to blow themselves up as a faster way to the End. If they can die and make the news, poof, 72 virgins, right in their face, created out of nothing.