Last Friday, world renowned magician David Copperfield has been accused of sexual assault. Later that day, he found his home has been stampeded by the FBI, with $2 million stolen from his safe.
"I was only creating the illusion of rape," said Copperfield. "My attorney, David Chesnoff, can vouch for my gentlemanliness."
The local police said they will probably just throw away the case on account of celebrities always being targeted for sex crimes, especially since the type of allegation hasn't even been made, nor has the supposed victim's name even known, nor has the police in the Bahamas have any record of his crime, nor is there any record of him being in the Bahamas. As an apology, Copperfield was asked if there's anything he needs.
He responded, "Can I have my $2 million back?"
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