16 October 2007

Maliki declares United States terrorists

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, appointed by the United States of America in May 2006, declared the United States as a terrorist regime. He has ordered a staged removal of all US troops and other personnel from within his borders.

"After going on five years of unrivaled security and strategic deployment of the best troops in the world occupying our country and protecting our culture," said Nuri al-Maliki, "I didn't for once believe they were against us the whole time. They used us to get oil and played us for victims. It turned out, they were the terrorists after all."

Maliki's decision was created overnight, but will allow some Americans to continue occupying Iraq. During the press conference, he stated, "American reporters and Hollywood actors are free to remain and continue to inform the world about how bad it was when the US was here, and about how we used to have flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.

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