03 November 2007

Pirates of the Caribbean IV: The Curse of Somali Warlords

Earlier this week a Japenese tanker was seized by Somali pirates. Captain of the pirate ship, Black Pearl, announced takeover at 5:45am Thursday and demanded the USS Porter, a US Navy warship, back off. Local witnesses describe the pirate captain as a "beardly man with a monkey on his shoulder."

A new captain of the USS Porter, known as Captain Jack, had some words to say on the matter: "T'would be rude of me to tresspass upon Somali waters, so me cannon balls will instead. Then thar shall be peace again for Sparrow."

Negotiations have started for the release of the governer's daughter from the Samolis. Also on board is a tanker-full of benzene, a highly flamable industrial solvent. Though bezene is fatal if too much is inhaled, a lesser amount may only alter the way one talks.

Somehow available for comment, the Black Pearl captain was available for a short interview by a CNN reporter. Though captured, was able to escape off the ship and swim to the US Navy vessel.

Reporter: Captain, what do you intend to do with the benzene?
Barbossa: Thar be a huge party an' plenty o' good times! Inhale we shall, an' high we shall be."

Reporter: Do you inted to sell any of it?
Barbossa: Yarr, and our prisoners too.

Reporter: Including Elizabeth Swann?
Barbossa: No. Ya scurvy dog whut deserves the black spot!

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