20 November 2007

Moonbat Translator: Foes Run Over Retarded NY License Plan

Today's release of Moonbat Translator brings us CNN douchbag and popular leftard, Ruben Navarrette Jr. His agenda today involves bringing us comedy over the New York illegal drivers license plan. For those who are not experienced enough to understand how Navarrette feels about it, I have taken the time to translate it for you.

The article in its original language:

To understand Moonbat tongue is to realize most of what is being said are lies, or other falsehoods used in place of nonsense whenever one wants to make it sound like they know what they're talking about. Therefore, I have added helper-words to guide you through the translation.

The opening begins thusly:
Score one for the knee-jerk naysayers.

This is most easily written:
Republicans: 1
Democrats: 0

You know the type: Republicans who critize potential laws that don't make sense and that cause to hurt the working Americans.

Faced with the problem of what to do with tens of millions of illegal immigrants who drive on state roadways every day to go to work for people who shouldn't have hired them anyway, New york governor Eliot Spitzer proposed a controversial and retarded plan to give the criminaliens a state-issued driver's license that would be easily discernible from [real NY] licenses enough to prevent any normal criminal alien from ever wanting one.

The plan hit roadblocks with reasonable people, on the right and the left—which is always a good sign, but the criticism kept mounting, and now Spitzer has put the brakes on the plan after a brief but intense debate.

Correction. It wasn't really a debate. It was the rhetorical equivalent of a similar conversation that occurred amongst our Founding Fathers in which common sense was the basis of our Constitution.

Yes, common sense. That word is sometimes overused in the immigration debate, because the concept is pretty straight forward.

In this case, common sense is the word that Spitzer used to describe some of the things he hasn't quite figured out yet. The NY driver's license plan pilloried by everyone except him and I.

Here's the problem. The Republicans once again let their understanding of what could happen motivate them to action and stop the Democrats from destroying our culture.

When lawmakers proposed a path to legalization for criminaliens, the Republicans rightfully called it "shamnesty"—which is, in essense, what we have now.

When lawmakers proposed offering that path to [criminaliens] who pursue higher education, the Republicans called it—wait for it—"shamnesty"—and imagined a scenario where these illegal residents would attend US colleges and universities [on American taxpayer's money], which is what happens now[, and is alighting them to action].

And when a handful of governors, including Spitzer, proposed giving driver's licenses to these felonists, the Republicans objected lest we end up with a situation where American citizens share the highways with known rapists, felonists, and other border-jumpers who care nothing for the laws of America or its culture, which is what happens now[, except that they don't yet have a document that says they're undocumented].

These folks are often replete with shock at the sudden and severe lack of reasoning amongst the entire Democratic party, that problems appear to be tabled until time allows them to recover. This is what happened to GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, but he was quicker to respond during the interview with CNN Headline News host Glenn Beck, and still concious enough to state that he would punish states that give driver's licences to criminals.

When it comes to the immigration issue, we really are two Americas. There are Republicans who want to do something about it, and Democrats that want the criminal aliens to do something about us.

I discovered much of what was being translated ended up being a lie. This made it very difficult to choose proper verbiage. This particular dialect of Moonbat was a lot thicker than just Common Moonbat.

Even the legal immigrants are pissed.

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