13 December 2007

Backup Catcher for Phyllies Caught Taking Steriods

Among the expansive list of popular baseball stars taking steriods are little known posers who want to make it big in the sports scene. Such a player is backup catcher for the Philladelphia Phyllies, Gary Bennett, Jr.

As a backup catcher, his role on the team involves cheering, waiting, twiddling his thumbs, and other activities often performed while sitting on the bench. At the occasional wave of the coaches hand, he may leave the bench and proceed to walk to his playing field position behind home plate—the position nearest to the dugout—where he squats down to catch balls thrown by the pitcher. Should he ever need to stand back up, it's usually done just prior to walking back to the bench.

Clearly, this is too fierce a strenuous activity for some athletes. Because of the substantial number of baseball players taking steriods, the Major League Baseball association will be changing the sport to require less running, less action, longer innings, and more waiting so players have time to catch their breath should it rise a few extra beats per minute.


Doug said...

That should cut down on sports-related CO2 emissions also. Good plan.

Chris said...

haha, i didn't think about that. Al Gore would be proud.